For the first half, the tool-tip for "sylphs" doesn't work.
Throughout, your name keeps alternating between your chosen name, "Leah" and "pc_name".
Ralph sometimes refers to Sarah as "Ralph" and "he".
And on the one hand, the same paragraphs repeat back-to-back with only small differences in text, like they were from two different drafts (e.g. contemplating transformation)
While on the other hand, paragraphs seem to get skipped leading to non-sequiturs (e.g. Ralph's hands are suddenly revealed to have been tied behind his back at some unknown prior point).
Oh, and if you disable nsfw content (yeah, I know, I know), and then use Ralph as the test subject, there is no way of progressing the story after the "steak cooking" line.
The sylphs issue is an author skill issue. I was learning literally everything to be learned with this first story, and simply didn't make the best decisions. That resulted in this technical issue. This will, unfortunately, not be fixed without a rewrite of the tooltip system, which I have no plans to do for this story.
Story crafting an IF was also a first for me, which led to the errors with the non-sequiturs and same-ish paragraphs. These will likely not be fixed in the foreseeable future. If you check out my other two stories, you will likely, and unfortunately, see some of the same traits.
I've gone ahead and fixed the second and third issues in my internal build, which also has other minor fixes and spelling corrections.
Should I ever rewrite the story (and I may, as this one is my first), I'll address all these issues.
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Oh, and if you disable nsfw content (yeah, I know, I know), and then use Ralph as the test subject, there is no way of progressing the story after the "steak cooking" line.
Ah, this is correct. I've fixed it internally... for whenever the next update is.
Thanks for the error checking, I appreciate it.
The sylphs issue is an author skill issue. I was learning literally everything to be learned with this first story, and simply didn't make the best decisions. That resulted in this technical issue. This will, unfortunately, not be fixed without a rewrite of the tooltip system, which I have no plans to do for this story.
Story crafting an IF was also a first for me, which led to the errors with the non-sequiturs and same-ish paragraphs. These will likely not be fixed in the foreseeable future. If you check out my other two stories, you will likely, and unfortunately, see some of the same traits.
I've gone ahead and fixed the second and third issues in my internal build, which also has other minor fixes and spelling corrections.
Should I ever rewrite the story (and I may, as this one is my first), I'll address all these issues.
Typo: "Of course, I could also check your hair or your skin, but the most consistent amount of keratin in humans is in the [humans (should be nails)].
Ahh, how embarrassing! I go through the story so many times and still some things slip through...
Thanks, I fixed it and will reupload the fix in a few minutes.Updated. I hope you're enjoying the story!